As a Christmas gift to myself this year, I chose not to think a lick about the Titans for about a week. It was maybe my best week of the year. No thinking about how dead we are or how we’re stuck in an eternal pit of mediocracy, just happy thoughts.
Going into the New Year, I wanted to keep these great vibes so we’re gonna fix the Titans today.
I would talk about the game on Sunday, but what’s left to say about this team? Losing to the Mac Jones led Jags 13-20, looking stinky and like we didn’t want to be there. That’s been the story really all season, but these last couple games have been especially stinky.
How to fix the Titans? That’s the question of the century. Does everything work itself out if we get the right quarterback? Maybe. Is it better to fill the other holes in the team so you can bring a rookie quarterback into a good situation? Perhaps. I’m gonna go step by step and solve this team if it kills me.
The best part about doing all this is it means nothing and nothing will ever change, we’ll be booty forever.
Let’s start by listing the most important issues the Titans have.
- Quarterback / Turnovers
- Offensive Line
- Special Teams / Turnovers
- Edge Rusher
- Penalties
- Receivers
These to me are by far the most critical issues this team has had. I grouped QBs and Special teams with turnovers since that’s where 90% of our turnovers came from.
- Quarterback
To me, quarterback is not going to be an issue we can solve this draft. I think it’ll be a 3 year process before we find a quarterback worth writing home about. I just can’t believe in these quarterbacks in this draft class. Shadeur Sanders and Cam Ward are the big names, and I do think both of them can be very good NFL QBs, but not on the Titans. Not right now. Titans are no where close to having a team be able to support a rookie QB, especially ones as raw as these guys. There’s no stand alone “Best QB in the class” and it’s just not worth it to waste top 3 pick on a question mark.
The only way we compete next year and set ourselves up for success is with a bridge QB. Now this is gonna sound super stinky, but my shortlist for QBs is ;
Sam Darnold
Aaron Rodgers
Danny Dimes
Mason Rudolph
Unfortunately it looks like that’s the cream of the crop. This is not the year for a quarterback, please just wait Titans. I hope there’s some way another guy comes available, but I just don’t even know who that would be.
2. Offensive Line
This one is a lot easier. Get an able-bodied man to stand in at tackle. I know I’m being an asshole, but we’ve had some of the historically worst tackles for the past 3 years. Draft a tackle in the 2nd round or sign a big name. That’s all we have to do and they’ll grow into it.
3. Special Teams
Again, a pretty easy solution. Fire Colt Anderson and hire somebody competent. Titans have by far the worst special teams in the NFL statistically and by eye test. I need to go sit through all the film this year and see exactly just how many points were given up by our special teams unit. It’s got to be abysmal.
4. Edge Rusher
Again, if the Titans follow my plan, we can fix this issue. Assuming the Titans end up with the number 2 pick, draft Abdul Carter. He’s been a monster at Penn State, and it may be lazy but the Micah Parsons comparison is there. I think he’s going to be a stud in the NFL and it would take our defensive to the next level.
5. Penalties
This one is flat out Callahan’s fault. You cannot have your team give up the most penalties in the NFL, in actual penalties called and yards given up. It cannot happen. I think if Callahan can manage to keep his job after next year, we can work our way out of that, that’s all the coaching, attitude and culture of a team.
6. Receivers
We had this issue solved at the beginning of the year with DHop (miss him), Ridley (Slick Rick), and NWI (Dawg). I know we love NWI here, and I always will, but we need a game changer. Imagine if we had AJ Brown, how good would he be! Man what a dream. I don’t really know how to solve this. I’m not super sold on any receiver in the draft, and the top free agent WRs aren’t going to want to come to a team led by Mason Rudolph or whoever we have up there. Tee Higgins will at some point in his career, be a Tennessee Titan. He’s from Knoxville, grew up a Titans fan, he’ll get here eventually. Is it this year? Maybe! Probably not.
This has been my delusional plan to fix the Titans that means nothing and will fix nothing, but I hope you enjoyed living in fantasy land with me.
Titans are dead.
We may always be dead.
But what if we follow this plan exactly and we’re good again and they hire me as the new GM. I’d right this ship. Maybe.
Haters are fine, they haven’t cared about us in quite some time. It’s like when an ex moves on completely, not even a care in the world.
Titans play the Texans to finish the season. Quietly praying for a loss but I didn’t say that.
Currently taking questions.
Checking on the Haters 